I’d given up, to be honest.
Or, at least I’d given up mostly.
It’s a very fine line, that one, one means you’ve thrown in the towel for good while the other means that you’re just tired enough to need a break for…however long it lasts. Hopefully you’ll rest up and be able to scramble back up to your feet to try again. Just, you know, later.
It lasted for the two (and a half) years after I graduated high school before I started trying to move around and do something with my life. It was slow going, I had to work to be awake for longer and longer throughout the day and then to push those hours further and be awake during the day instead of at night. My body fought back, tried to rebel. It liked sleeping all day and doing homework or housework or whatever at night. Those were it’s natural hours after all!
(My sleep schedule is naturally delayed like that for some reason. I’m not the only person like that in my family.)
Then I worked on getting a job outside of the house.
My brother-in-law worked at a place that was hiring remote computer operators at the time and referred me there. I went in for the application and then was called back for an interview.
Keep in mind that this was a time when I was not all there and my short-term to long-term memory conversion was at an all time low. I have no idea how the interview went or even what was said during it, all I know is that I managed to get the job.
It was 7-12 in the morning. So I’d wake up at 8-ish pm, be awake during my ‘normal’ hours of the night, do my homework (online classes were heaven sent), eat lunch at 4 am-ish, go to work at 6:30 am and then work…somehow (I was actually pretty good at my job. I just trained my body to know what to do and let muscle-memory take over, wasn’t too bad) and then I’d go home at noon and sleep.
Slowly I was blessed to be able to shift my sleep cycle a little bit more every month until I was awake during more the day than the night. It was a hard thing to do and there was no way that I did it on my own. I had support, so much support and I started to feel like I could live again and not just exist during the limbo hours of the night while everyone else slept.
That was the turning point in my adult life that actually helped it to start.
This reminiscing was brought to you by the Dungeon Prompt: The Turning Point.