About martha0stout

I like to read and write and hang out with my family and friends. I currently live on a farm and all that such a living entails.

Put the Glass Down

Who am I if I can’t carry it all?

If I falter…

Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?

No cracks, no breaks

No mistakes, no pressure

-‘Surface Pressure’; from “Encanto”
But it's so hard to go on
Utilizing every source of energy
Reaching further and further inside
Not realizing what you're courting
Only knowing you just can't stop
Until there's nothing left to give
Then you fall and can't get up

I’m not the eldest of my siblings. I’m the third youngest, in fact, which would sound like still pretty up there, but I’m the sixth child my parents had, so it really means that I’m just barely not the end, but not really one of the middle two. I’ve watched different siblings at different times try to carry not only their own loads but those around them. I’ve done it, too. We seem to take turns in my family with doing that. It helps with the burnout that each of us have lived through of one thing or another.

I’ve been told that working like that with one another is…odd.

I don’t know why, though. Isn’t that what family is supposed to be about? Yeah, you have fights and arguments, and maybe you don’t talk a whole lot with each other sometimes, but when you’re family needs help? When you see your siblings fall, don’t you step up and help them? Even if you’re still angry and hurt, you still love them. You can love someone, but not really like them all of the time. That’s just being human. We don’t even always like ourselves, so why would that be any different with others?

I don’t really recall if I’ve written about this before, but it’s been rolling through my head since watching that part of the movie. That sister was approaching burnout at what she saw as the destruction of her family. After all, if she’s the strongest of them and she’s weak when all of the magic might be fading? And her entire concept of her worth is based on what she can do? That’s a recipe for disaster, Disney movie or no.

It’s healthy for someone to take time away in order to rest. Even if they don’t go back to what they were doing before they burned out, it’s important. A person’s worth is more than what they can do.

I Stumble

If you’re not making mistakes, you’re doing it wrong. If you don’t fix your mistakes, you’re really doing it wrong. If you don’t admit to your mistakes, you’re not doing it at all. –TheSovereigntyofReality

Even as I sit and stare
Reaching inside for something more
Right or wrong pulling inside
Only to leave me confused
Reacting as I stumble through

Reflect

Aside

There is a joy in a job well done,

Though also a worry ’tis not enough

For often people forget to look back

To remember both the good and bad

To think back and assess what in actuality was…

For how else can the job be well done

For the need might again arise

To duplicate that endeavor.

Each moment in time a lesson

For those who know of it to learn

No matter how many times thought of

There is always more to learn.

 

Brown-Eyed Boy – Thankful Thursday

Today, I’m grateful for how our youngest dog wakes me up in the morning to let him out. He puts his front paws on the edge of my bed and lays his head in my side or stomach and then looks at me with his great big brown eyes.

He doesn’t hop all the way on the bed and run up and down it (and on me) like his mother, nor does he bark continuously like his father. He just puts his head on me and gives me his best puppy eyes. It’s one of the best ways to wake up during the cold mornings.