Memory Stings

Before you can blink
And sharper than you think
Rips open the skin
But the slice is so thin

Had to slip off and then re-tighten some barbed wire in a corner of the pasture fencing. Just about sliced over an old scar on my left pinkie finger, but just barely missed it. The scar’s from a small line of stitches I received when I was nine. So it stings a little, but not too badly. It wouldn’t sting so much if I would stop pressing on it.

Memory is a lot like that. You go back on think on things, especially if they hurt. You hope that pressing on it, remembering it, will help lessen how much it stings. Forgetting that pressing on it too much makes it hard to gain distance and perspective. Give it time to seal up enough to withstand recollection. Although, sometimes, you’re able to stop a repetition of something with the scar for a reminder.

Sleep Gone Bye

Finally
All
Time
Is
Gone
Under
Endless night

That moment when you realize that all the sleep in the world does nothing but make you feel even more exhausted.

I’m actually feeling pretty okay today, but had a moment when I recollected a time when my sleep cycle was truly a mess and none of my sleep was restorative. I’m infinitely grateful such a time is in the past. Now I’m just tired from excessive amounts of yardwork. Well, they likely aren’t that excessive, but when the temperature is supposed to be in the mid-90s and keeps jumping over into the low-100s instead…

Everything feels excessive then.

Children of All Species – Thankful Thursday

Today I’m grateful for the creation of child gates. I have used them for my nieces and nephews and for my nephew’s cat’s kittens and now I’m using several for that same nephew’s dog’s puppies.

They are truly a wondrous creation and I, for one, am highly grateful to whoever not only created them, but made them affordable. Because we only owned one last week and have to buy at least another this weekend in order to expand the pen as the pups grow larger. (The store was all out of the kits that made indoor pens for puppies and it’s too soon to have them outside. It snowed a lot yesterday and snowed some more today. Also, there was hale and I don’t want them hit by hale when they’re this small. It would be dangerous. And they can climb out of the kiddie pool we originally had them in.)

(Also, I’m grateful for tarps to protect my carpet and twine to hold the corners together.)

IMG_20190408_104920

image: Helena and Vincent’s pups; from martha0stout’s phone

Dungeons – Thankful Thursday

So around the New Year, my eldest nephew asked if we could hold weekly Dungeons and Dragons games as a family. He very rarely ever asks to do anything as a family even once every few months, let alone something that would be a weekly occurrence. My sister immediately agreed and so since then, each week my sister, her three teenagers and myself meet to play Dungeons and Dragons at our kitchen table. We have three players (my sister and her two sons) and two Dungeon Masters (my niece and myself).

Why have two DMs, you may ask?

Well, my niece isn’t fond of D&D when as a player, but didn’t want to be the normal DM. I love creating stories and adventures, but sometimes can’t talk for hours at a time or other difficulties pop up. So my niece is my assistant and we pretty much split the world we’re using. If it takes place in one of my countries, I’m main DM (barring physical difficulties). If it’s in one of my niece’s countries, she’s the main DM.

Regardless, we all still have to be at the table each week and take part in the game.

As a result, everyone’s gotten better at communicating throughout the week because we have to get along to a certain degree or the D&D session comes to a quick end no matter what.

So I’m thankful for my nephew’s idea of playing Dungeons and Dragons as a family, because we’re all learning how to communicate better and are closer as a family.

Expected

Just going to keep going
Onward till the end
Because there was no one else around

That moment when you’re the most knowledgeable in your family to help the dog deliver her first litter because you were the goat midwife. (Which also was a default, because the goat was due that weekend and you were the only person who couldn’t drive granny and the children into town for appointments. So that meant it was your job to watch and aid the goat if needed.)

There are just so many jobs that people become skilled in by simple virtue of the fact that there was no other person around and the job still had to be done.

Mother of Pearl

Poor the earth remains at her loss
Even as others mourn
A moment in my memory stands
Real to me as this point in time
Life and love shared in equal measure

A wonderful woman has passed this day. A woman who gave love to all within her reach, whether they were deserving of it or not. In her eyes, all deserved love and care.

She was not mine, but that didn’t stop her from loving me all the same.

She had known pain and sorrow and instead of letting it destroy her, she let it polish that which was good within her.