Grown Folly

So often I look back
To moments in my youth
Understanding now the folly
Poorly chosen then as wise
I want to go back then
Distracted in thinking to then it was confined

Sometimes, as teenagers, we make bad decisions. –from Seeking Shelters, a fanfic

I read the above line and the first thing that jumped out at me was, “And sometimes, as full grown adults (who should really know better), we make even worse decisions.”

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Not Soft Enough

Time has its way of softening things, but sometimes, even forever isn’t long enough. –from an unknown fanfic

 

Pain is something that she was intimately familiar with, she was born in pain, the sundering of two that had once been one and never been anything else had been almost enough to destroy the two halves that remained in the wake of the loss of the one. The fact that she had to go through with that same feeling once more, this time because she actually chose to do so, left her feeling things that were impossible to describe even to someone who had felt the same thing.

No one could have felt the same thing, though because they had never found another set that was even close to being like them.

Except they were no longer a set anymore. Just two people who were as adrift from one another as they were to others.

“Time will heal these wounds.” She was assured by many.

“Did it heal the death of your soulmate?” she asked one.

“That was different…”

“Only in that you were not strong enough to continue on in that life,” she held up a hand to forestall an offended outburst that was sure to come, “I do not mean that as a slight against you. You were much younger than I; you are still much younger than I as this is your second life, started only a thousand years before while this is still my first which started well over three thousand years before your second life even was a blip. Time will not heal this wound, it may try to scar over with roughened tissue, but that tissue will continually be ripped open once more. There is nothing to be done about it, I just have to live or at least survive.”

The Lunar Monarch smiled sadly, not offended in the least. She knew that she hadn’t been strong enough in her past life; it had been something that had worried her about this life. She had constantly been trying to check herself to make sure she had what it took to fulfill her duties to her people. She hadn’t been concerned with her people in her past life because she’d been stupid, young yes, but very stupid and self-centered as well without meaning to be. She just didn’t want the woman in front of her to break either, not like she had.

“That is still a type of healing, my friend, though it will never heal completely so long as you live and we both know that you will continue to live because you are far stronger than most of us. We have all broken and shattered and been scattered to the winds. It is why we are concerned for you. We don’t want to watch another so dear to us shatter…”

Star finally softened and leaned her head against the other blonde, “I know…it just hurts…so much.”

A tear slid down her cheek, but it was alone in its journey. That didn’t stop the Lunar Monarch from gathering the fragile woman against her chest and rocking her gently.