Spider’s Friend

Can’t remember when the last time
All of us were here
Remembering what we had
I can’t think of another moment
Not knowing what was lost
Going to keep trying, no matter what

It was hard to think of all the time that had passed. She had thought that there would be more time. They were all pretty young and the majority of them had good health. Their lives had all gone off in different directions. one breaking off first and then another and then another until they only had the barest strands linking them.

The strands that used to be as thick as a wool blanket, newly knit by a master craftsman.

Now they were as thin as a string of spider’s web.

She had thought they were still as strong as a spider’s web, at least. After all, those were very strong strings.

But…

But she had forgotten that it was easier for something, or someone, to come along and cut a spider’s thread, destroy the web that was so beautifully created to provide shelter and sustenance.

She’d been able to catch a few glimpses of some of those threads recently. Some of them still shown, bright with morning dew.

But…

But one was slack, billowing in the wind.

She hadn’t understood what that meant. Still wouldn’t understand it for over six months.

She doesn’t wish she never found out, because ignorance is not bliss. She should know, she’s been caught up because of it before and it never ended well.

The thread was cut by the friend himself. There was no coming back from that.


This was inspired by the Dungeon Prompt: Never Shared.

I’m going to be honest, it took me a bit to be able to finish this one. I won’t go into why, but it was hard. This is a hard subject.

Just, for anyone out there, remember that no one is better without you in the world. Even if you aren’t in their lives anymore, just knowing that you are out there in the world and living can be enough for them.

Please don’t give up.

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Simple and Clean – Thankful Thursday

Today I’m grateful for the simple and profound friendship between Vincent and Iris.

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image: Vincent and Iris; from martha0stout’s phone

 

Those two are adorable to watch.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday. (I will link this week’s new post once I’m able to get it up.)

Don’t Just Reach Out, Reach Back

There is nothing more painful than being alone.

You can be alone even when completely surrounded by others.

Case in point:

The halls were overflowing with the teenage and preteen humanity that is within a mid-valley junior high school. Students on the phone, reading books as they dodge other students, leaning up against lockers or running after departing friends to retrieve their jokingly stolen homework. You’re walking through the halls, head down and long hair draped over your face, hoping to avoid being noticed by anyone and anything. It’s only the second month of school, but you’re already decided that you greatly miss the elementary school that you’d hated and couldn’t wait to get out of. In elementary school the bullies didn’t shove you up against lockers every time you passed them in the halls, which happened something like ten times a day, sometimes more.

You hate it here and the only person that you know is an older sibling who you don’t really spend time with at all and don’t pass in the halls. Your classes are on the opposite sides of the schools, you never pass each other except when getting dropped off or picked up for school.

Today it changes.

Today something different happens.

Today someone, you don’t really know who she is at first, that comes later, she walks by you in the hall and smiles and says hi. You’re not sure why or what to do, so you just walk on.

Every time she sees you she does the same thing.

You start to see her more than you do the bullies and you notice that when they see her interacting with you that they’re less likely to do anything to you, so you start answering back.

You still hide behind your hair, but you don’t walk as quickly through the halls and for the first time, you’re glad that you have classes in these halls because she does too and you might have never met her if not for passing each other something like ten times a day.

Who knows what would have happened otherwise, because bullies are everywhere and in every hall, but how many halls have someone who, without even knowing it, reach out a hand with a smile and mean it.

You don’t know that she needs your returned smiles just as much. You don’t know that she was reaching the end of her own rope when someone suggested that she smile and say hello to someone she didn’t know. That they told her to have faith in another that you don’t even know because she was having trouble finding faith in others at that time. You don’t know that in reaching back to her, you were just as much a hero as she has become to you.

Friendship can begin in the most unlikely ways not only when someone reaches out, but when someone else reaches back.

Together, you can sing a duet of salvation.

This rendition was inspired to be written due to Dungeon Prompt: Redemption Song, but it is inspired by a true story.

Friendship’s Last Breath

Listen to what I have to say
And keep in mind it doesn’t have to be this way.
Sitting here within this room
Trying to keep my head above the gloom.
 
Back against the wall
Really wishing my answers would fall.
Even when I wish they wouldn’t come
At least then I’d know just what you’ve done.
There never seems to be an end
How can I still call you friend?
 
Sometimes I really wonder
Just why you came around
And kept on coming
Trying to bring me down.
 
Why is it that you
Must tear me down
And only to feel better
Like you own the town.
 
I thought that what we had
Was something to last the years
But after all we’ve been through
All I have left is my tears.
 
So why should I keep fighting
Trying to work this out
When you don’t seem to care,
At me, you only shout.
 
I have always said
That the relationship is of the most import
But lately I’ve been wondering
If in this storm I’m just your port.
 
You come and rest conveniently
Whenever you are down
But the moment I’m the one in need
You’re suddenly out of town.
 
This isn’t a one-ended thing,
I am not here to help only you
And then when I need someone for me
You get to claim another thing to do.
 
It’s all or nothing at this point
I’m tired of you running around
Leaving me with the bill
While above the mountains you bound.
 
So make up your mind
And make a decision,
Because this agreement we had?
I’m going to make a revision.
 
So sit down for a moment
And decide if you want me in your life
Because all you have done
Is cause me no end of strife.
 
Will this be a new beginning?
Or instead will our friendship be ending?
 

Inspired by the topic for the Dungeon Prompts this week.

The Dress

Once upon a time there was a dressmaker. He was an expert craftsman and made beautiful dresses. He made dresses of different shapes and sizes, different fabrics and colors. One dress he made was for a little girl, and it was a beautiful dress.

The dress was much loved and worn whenever possible until one day it ripped.

The dress was still very beautiful, the fabric not faded, but ripped. The girl could not mend it and neither could her family, so they put it away in the dark.

Years would pass and someone, now and then, would find the dress.

“Oh! What a beautiful dress!” they would say, “but it is ripped and I do not know how to fix it.”

And so, they would put the dress away, back in the dark.

One day a woman found the dress hidden away.

“Oh! What a beautiful dress!” she said and then she noticed the rip. “Oh, but it is ripped! I am not a dressmaker and I am not good with a needle, but I can stitch.”

She took a needle and found some thread.

“My thread is not the right color,” she said, “and my stiches are not even, but I can mend this rip.”

She threaded her needle with the thread and began to mend the dress. There were times when she had to stop and take the thread out and start over, but she did not give up.

“There!” she said once her work was done, “It is whole!”

Once the dress was mended, she washed it and hung it up for another little girl to wear.

“Oh!” the little girl said, “What a beautiful dress!”


This was written several months ago and was inspired by two things, two people.

The first is a dear friend of mine who found me, hiding away in the dark, sad and alone and afraid of interacting with those who were not already close (and what a small number that was). She befriended me and even when we were only able to text, she would talk with me every week without fail, just to see how I was doing. She was genuine and sincere and everything I needed to know existed still today. She recently was married and I was very privileged to attend and watch her in her beautiful dress promise herself to her husband and he to her.

This story is dedicated to her.

The second person is my eldest niece. I had been struggling for a way to express my feelings concerning my friend. At the beginning of the year, I found a dress that had belonged to my niece’s mother. It was a beautiful turquoise dress that was very simple, but had been worn at least once by the majority of my sisters once it no longer fit my second eldest sister. Along the way, there was a rip that developed in one side. It wasn’t a long rip, but it was placed in such a way that the dress shouldn’t be worn. It was laced away by my mother to be mended at another time and then was lost. I found it earlier this year as stated above and realized that I could mend it. I did so (though like in the story, the thread isn’t quite right), I washed it and that same day that the rest of the story came to me, my niece had pulled the dress on for the first time to wear to church. Sitting in Sacrament Meeting, the rest of the story came to me later that day.

The Dressmaker made all of us so beautifully, using different patterns and styles and fabrics. We are each of us gorgeous and our colors do not fade, but we can become torn and ripped and dirty from wear in the world. Sometimes (too often) we are put away in the dark, sad and alone. There are those who find us, see that we are broken and for whatever reason (inability, indifference, being too torn themselves) they do not pull us out of the dark. Then there are those who come along and pull us out. They see that we are beautiful, even if we are torn or dirty and though they do not feel as if they can mend us or help us adequately, they still try and in the end, their love made all the difference.

Thank you, my friend, thank you for finding me in the dark and not focusing on how I was damaged, but instead how I was beautiful. You were not perfect, but you loved me and cared for me with a perfect love.

Unbroken Friendship

For you I will 
Run as far as
I can to get help.
Even with three broken vertebrae
Nothing will stop me from
Doing what I can to save you.

Written in honor of a brave young woman who tried to get help for her friend after their car rolled in Southern Idaho a week ago Saturday night. They had lost their cell phones in the roll over and only one of them was able to drag herself out of the wreck.

I don’t know the name of this young woman, but I do know the name of her friend. Dakota was mentioned in my Stake Conference as she was the grandniece of one of my Stake Presidency. He mentioned her and her friend during a talk about the worth of souls.

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. -D&C 18:10

This friend reached the house they’d left and was able to alert them about the accident. Unfortunately, they were unable to get there in time to save Dakota who died of a broken neck in the accident.

I have tried to look up any information about the accident or the girls online and have failed, but I still felt the need to share this part of their story.

How many people would drag themselves from a wrecked car and run miles with three broken vertebrae in order to save their friend?