Ham and Cheese – Thankful Thursday

Today I am grateful for the ham that is my sister. Although I think she’s a little bit more serious at times about things she still plays them up because, well, she can. It’s just something that a lot of us do, but this sister is able to pull it off a lot better than the rest of us.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday. (I will update link when able.)

EDIT: Link updated as of July 18, 2015.

Accident

Several years ago one of my sisters was going through teenager-hood and would repeat one phrase over and over and over again because she thought it was witty and hilarious. One of these phrases was “There’s been a terrible accident.”

She would say that after just about everything, but especially whenever someone would as where another person was.

“Where’s Mom?”

“There’s been a terrible accident.”

“Where’s the cat?”

“There’s been a terrible accident.”

“Where did the ice cream go?”

“There’s been a terrible accident.”

She’d even put extra emphasis on the word terrible.

It got incredibly old really fast, but nothing any of us did would make her stop saying it.

So one day, I found a way to get her to stop.

It was a normal day, Mom and I were the only ones home for one reason or another, when the phone rang. It was my sister.

“Martha, is Mom there?”

“No.”

“Where is she?”

“In the car with Sami.”

“Where are they going?”

“To the hospital.”

Silence.

“What happened?! Is everything all right!?”

A beat.

“There’s been a terrible accident.”

Dead silence.

Mom was cracking up right next to me the whole time.

“Put. Mom. On. The. Phone. NOW.”

She never used that phrase again.


Written for this week’s Dungeon Prompt: http://theseekersdungeon.com/2014/04/03/dungeon-prompts-season-2-week-14-entertain-with-the-mundane/

Failed Food

I’ve messed it up once again,
Always something going wrong.
The recipe was easy to read?
That’s a laugh, so laugh along.
 
It said tablespoons, I’m sure.
Oops, was supposed to be 4 teaspoons.
Well, salt is supposed to be savory, right?
With corn, ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauce…
 
The cookies are muffins or bars or crisps,
They never seem to look quite right.
Yet I’m assured that they taste just fine.
That would mean more if you actually swallowed.
 
The bread is wholesome and quite tasty.
It’s good for you and all homemade.
The grains were ground this morning.
Now if only it didn’t look like a little brick.
 
You can cook all kinds of things with a roast:
Onions, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes…
All of them come out just right,
But not the broccoli, not even ketchup will save it.
 
There are a lot of different noodles these days.
Not all of them from Asia or Italy.
There are many ways to cook them, many sauces,
But if you’re using peanut butter, just stop.
 
Trying to make brownies
Even followed the box.
Still ended up with too much oil
And not enough chocolate.
 
My family likes to make things from scratch,
Most of it’s pretty good, too.
There were a few learning moments, but in the end?
It all worked out without any food poisoning.

I didn’t write this for a prompt (though I seriously considered it), but because another attempt at cookies failed yet turned out all right. Had some cookie dough I’d made yesterday that tasted fine, but was too structurally unsound to be used for cookies. (They were the flimsiest cookies I’ve ever seen and would not harden at all or stiffen up the way you need cookies to do. It would have made weird granola, but at least taste good.) Finally I added some flour to it today (it wasn’t part of the recipe originally) and then just baked it all together in a cake pan. Turned out just fine after that even though I’ve been told it looks like cake. (It tastes like cookie and once it’s been cut up will make lovely cookie bars.)

The fail-succeed process reminded me of other times in my family when we’ve failed epically in making something.