Take A Step Outside

Mary knew that her sons were growing up, she knew that it wouldn’t be long until her eldest wasn’t even living in the same home and that, not long after (to her reckoning) her youngest would also ‘leave the nest.’ She both was and wasn’t looking forward to it.

She was looking forward to it because it meant that her sons had lived long enough to move out. It meant that they were able to support themselves and possibly a family of their own. It meant that she would no longer have to work as hard to hide the grief at the loss of her Bonded.

She wasn’t looking forward to it because it meant she would be alone more. Her sons might not visit very often or even call. Hadn’t her coworkers often complained at the lack of interaction with their grown and moved out children? It meant that the emptiness that was forever within her at the loss of Warren would no longer be partially covered up by the sound of Warren’s sons. It meant that the urge to end this existence sooner rather than later would also be stronger.

Mary was afraid to be by herself. She was very afraid.

What Mary didn’t take into account (what she so often forgot) was that her sons were aware of her feelings in this regard and were working to take steps to avoid the thing she feared most from happening.

“Terry, we can’t leave Mom like this, she will die if we leave her all alone.”

“I knot that, little brother, but I don’t know what else to do!”

Matt nodded an agreement with his elder brother, something that he’d thought as a child he’d never do. “She doesn’t want us to stay living with her once we’re married because she thinks that newlyweds need their own space, but doesn’t want us to invite her to live with us after the newlywed phase has passed.”

“Why is Mom so insular?”

“That’s a big word coming from you.” the younger of the two retorted on principle alone.

Neither of them really knew why their mother didn’t seem to have any friends. They didn’t even know why their parents had separated as there hadn’t been any kind of fighting that most other kids whose parents had divorced talked about.

Terry sighed and closed his eyes. He knew that his brother liked to pick at him, he liked to pick right back, but they needed to talk about this, not ignore it like they’d been doing most of their lives.

“Sorry,” Matt mumbled, “It’s just so much easier-”

“I know,” Terry interrupted, “but we need to have some kind of plan if we’re going to convince Mom not to finish closing herself off to the world.”

Matt hung his head, “I…I don’t know how we can do anything about it. She’s never really listened when we’ve tried to get her to have some kind of life for herself. She always replies that we are her life and that it’s more than enough for her.”

“She’ll die if we can’t help her, I don’t care if she’ll still wake up and eat and move about, inside, she’ll die.”

They didn’t know what to do, but they wouldn’t let the woman who brought them into this world and raised them to fade away. Now if only she would give them some kind of clue on how they could do it.

Inspired by Light and Shade Challenge.


Wish You Could See

image: courtesy of Janssenfrank and taken from Wiki Commons

Mary sighed as she knelt down in front of the gravestone. Her hands did not tremble as they cleared away the grass and weeds that tried to cover the slab of cement, though her fingers lovingly traced the outline of the letters.

“It’s lonely without you, Warren. The boys aren’t home as often as they used to be, busy with work and school and friends. They don’t have as much time for their mother anymore.”

Terry had graduated high school with honors and was now attending university, his long-time girlfriend off and studying her way through dancing, his job not ending just because he had less time on his hands. If anything, he spent more time with his boss than with his mother.

“I don’t mind so much, Terrance is really coming into what he wants to be and I think he would make you proud with his dreams of going into law. He’s not just going to leave it to someone else to fix the mess that has often happened in our legal systems.”

Matt wasn’t in high school, not yet, but that was more because he hadn’t wanted to skip grades than anything else. Her little boy was smart and often spent time over with his brother at his workplace. Terry’s boss didn’t seem to mind and even let the pre-teen help out as well.

Mary smiled once more at her husband’s gravestone, “It seems that I am nothing more than a thought they have now and then, but I know that they still love me even if I don’t quite fit with them anymore.”

With a sigh, she stood.

“I wish you were here to grow old with me.”

This is a dual inspired post, part of it came from reading a post by Oliana this morning (nothingness) and also from the Light and Shade Challenge.

Looks like…

Little people everywhere
Over here and over there.
Out and in, the door swings away,
Killing time in the best way.
Silly faces, laughter and smiles all around.
Little people grow up fast,
I often wonder how they last.
Keeping in contact is hrad to do,
Even when they’re related to you.
Letting someone into your life,
Or making sure you’re their for their strife.
Values are learned and practiced and taught,
Especially remember that love can’t be bought.

Written for this week’s Dungeon Prompt: http://theseekersdungeon.com/2014/03/20/dungeon-prompts-season-2-week-12-what-does-love-look-like/

Invitations to a new life

Every step in putting together this wedding brings it home to me more and more. The last two sibling weddings that I took part in, it wasn’t…I don’t want to say real, but I can’t think of another word for it. Maybe it’s because this time it’s not one of my older siblings getting married, it’s my baby sister getting married.

This is the young woman who used to beat me up and made me the ‘Queen of Bruises” for the majority of elementary school. This is the young woman who stopped other school bullies from beating me up because she didn’t want to share.

This is the young woman who helped me chase our dog all over our neighborhood and then the one across a main street because he had decided that we weren’t getting enough exercise. He’d run home and wait for us on the front lawn. We actually ran past her future husband’s house every time our dog ran in his neighborhood. (Which was something like twice a week during the school year and almost once a day during the summer.)

This is the young woman who I’ve lived with almost my entire life save for about six months worth and now she’s going to get married and live somewhere else. I won’t see her everyday. She’ll still be close by and within easy walking distance with only one major road and some trax lines between us. But he makes her so happy and she makes him so happy and together they make a kind of sense that I haven’t often seen in the people that I’ve actually known throughout my life.

This whole line of reasoning and thought came because we spent this morning getting her wedding invitations ready to mail out tomorrow. She’ll be a married woman exactly one month from today.