Looking Back – Thankful Thursday

Today is the week after Christmas, but like most of my posts was written long before this day actually arrived. I have found, though, that things I am grateful for one day I am still thankful for on another even if it’s not the thing that’s at the forefront of my mind.

I’m still thankful for my family (each of the, even the annoying ones) right now just as much as I have been on specific days that I’ve mentioned them.

I’m still grateful for the animals that make up the farm now that it’s winter and the garden’s not growing. (Even if it’s pitch black outside when we go out to milk the goats and feed everyone.)

I’m still grateful for the rain that we have received off and on this year. (And the snow, we really need water stored underground and it’ll soak down into the aquifer once spring arrives.)

I’m still grateful for the wonderful homemade food that’s here. (Even if I’m once again banned from using the oven.)

I’m still grateful for the canning that going on. (Likely even still the week this is going up. You can year-long if that’s a major source of food and you’re able to get the produce necessary.)

I’m still grateful for everything that I have mentioned in previous posts for Thankful Thursday even if I haven’t mentioned them specifically already. (Because there’s only so much time to mention things when I’m on a time limit for how much internet access I have.)

That doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for this entire year that has come and gone. (Even if this is the very last Thursday of 2015.)

Most of all, I’m grateful for the day I stumbled upon my first Thankful Thursday post. It has changed my life. So thank you, my friend, thank you for starting this thing that has brought me so much joy. I can only hope it has done so for others as it has done so for me and if you haven’t already been there, (smiles) make sure to check out this week’s Thankful Thursday. (And yes, someday, when I have time and home internet, I will go back and update all of my links to the correct ones.)

Looking Back…

Sometimes she looked back at her past and wondered at herself.

“I shouldn’t have jumped out of so many trees.” she’d grumble when her back ached.

“Maybe learning to eat strawberries with barbecue sauce wasn’t the wisest food to become acquainted with.” she’d mutter over the porcelain throne.

“Refusing to learn the piano when the lessons were freely-given by my mother wasn’t economical.” she’d sigh when looked at the work she’d traded for lessons as an adult.

“Ignoring my body’s protests before hiking this morning when I didn’t sleep well last night was stupid.” she huffed as she lost sight of the hiking group.

“Why did I say that to him!” she’d shriek as quietly as possible to her friends later about a boy she liked. “Comparing him as my brother because I was too afraid to say otherwise even to myself was more cowardly then just mumbling an excuse and running for the library!”

Then there were other times when she looked back and decided that maybe she wasn’t quite the little idiot that she had supposed.

“For all that it broke my heart, accepting the end of our engagement was the best choice at the time.” she’d whisper to her cat.

“Being able to spend time with my  nieces and nephews was better than finally defeating that video game I’ve been saving up for the last few months.” she’d laugh as her niece shrieked to be pushed higher and higher.

“Leaving that job before I burnt out was a wiser course of action then trying to do it and school at the same time.” she’d groan happily as she sank into bed after studying for an upcoming final.

Life is full of moments and though there will be many choices and actions that we regret and wish to have never done (be they hilarious or depressing) there are many more that we needed in order to become the people we are today.

This little rant was brought to you by Dungeon Prompt: In Hindsight… which made me look back and laugh at some things and cry at others.

Ten Years – Repeat

Looking out over the view before me fills me with more than I had ever thought possible. Something so awe-inspiring and breath-taking and yet so very ominous staring back at me in the night. I had never thought that I would ever see such a sight and upon being presented with it I am filled with melancholy. What will such a thing be spoken of in years to come? How will this night be remembered?

What will life be like once such a sight comes to us once more?

It has been almost 10 years since I saw such a sight in the night sky as a full blood-red moon gazing back at me and I have seen the world change and grow and yet backslide all at the same time. History is forever moving forward and yet backward at the same time. Wars and bombs and killings and people lost who are now found. Burglaries and hostage situations and people in power caring more about what they want and their own images than the people below them.

History repeats itself because no one ever seems to learn from the mistakes of the past. We seem to feel like we who have come next are far ore wiser than those of the past because we ‘know more’ or ‘have better technology’ or a hundred other different excuses to simply start everything all over again.

Natural history, the history of everything else that isn’t human, repeats itself because they are set in a pattern that only changes because of the interaction of humanity within it.

Looking up at the blood-red moon I wonder what will happen int he next ten years before I see another.

Written for FreeWriteFriday: http://kellieelmore.com/2013/10/18/fwf-free-write-friday-image-prompt-with-guest-host-mark-schutter/