Push Her Away – SoC

“Stay back!”

“I just want to he-”

“I said don’t touch me!” the woman was hysterical when they reached them, flinging herself back from the child in front of her with a full body lunge that ended with her on her back.

She winced, evidence that she was injured showing as red started to spread through her shirt, dark though it was.

They had been startled by the sudden appearance of the woman and the child, but that was broken when the child let loose a sob, but didn’t step towards the fallen woman once more.

It wouldn’t be until much later that they would discover the reason the woman hadn’t wanted the child, her niece, to touch her. Apparently the child could heal by taking on the wounds of those she was touching. The slash all along the woman’s front would have killed her before the child’s quick healing would be able to take care of it for her.


This snippet is brought to you by the Stream of Consciousness prompt for this weekend, which was given by one of the lovely December substitutes over at lindeaghill.

Stout Stick

Whenever my eldest niece and nephews get all dressed up for something (weddings, funerals, church) I look at them and think, “I’m going to need a good, stout stick soon.”

I’d never understood just why that would be necessary whenever I ran across such a saying in popular culture (i.e. – movies, books, etc.) but I started to understand as soon as I realized that my niece was going to be quite the looker when she reaches dating age.

Remembering – Thankful Thursday

Thirteen years ago today, I was in a U.S. History class, watching the news and waiting for class to start.

Thirteen years ago, my second eldest sister and her husband were getting ready to fly out to their new posting in Germany.

Thirteen years ago, my eldest niece was my only niece and she was barely learning how to crawl.

Thirteen years ago, for the first time in my life, I feared losing not just my sister, but my brother-in-law.

Thirteen years ago, I prepared for my niece to possibly have to live with us and without her parents.

Thirteen years ago, their posting didn’t change, but their way to get to it did.

Thirteen years ago, my sister’s family had to drive across the country and catch a military flight instead of a commercial one.

I am thankful this day not only for those who died saving people from harm, not only for those who continue to fight and protect today, but also for the knowledge that my niece didn’t have to pay the same price that so many other children have had to.

Thank you to all those who work towards the safety of not only citizens of this country, but others as well.

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image: sister’s phone

These are her children, two of which were born several years after September 11, 2001.

Make sure to read the original Thankful Thursday as well.

Sit With Me – Thankful Thursday

“All I can do is sit with them.” – Vivi, Final Fantasy IX

Life is hard. There are days where you just don’t want to get out of bed because you know it’s going to be extra difficult. Sometimes you do get out of bed and you’re ready for whatever’s going to come your way that day…up until you aren’t. No particular reason why, just suddenly…you can’t.

I’ve had those days. A lot. One winter I had them every single day.

So my eldest niece and eldest nephews would just sit with me. Sometimes one of them would run a hand through my hair. They’d take turns doing that and it really helped.

So today, I’m thankful for people who will just sit with you.

Look for the original Thankful Thursday, it’s always a good thing to be thankful for your faith, whether it’s in other people or in your religion.

The Dress

Once upon a time there was a dressmaker. He was an expert craftsman and made beautiful dresses. He made dresses of different shapes and sizes, different fabrics and colors. One dress he made was for a little girl, and it was a beautiful dress.

The dress was much loved and worn whenever possible until one day it ripped.

The dress was still very beautiful, the fabric not faded, but ripped. The girl could not mend it and neither could her family, so they put it away in the dark.

Years would pass and someone, now and then, would find the dress.

“Oh! What a beautiful dress!” they would say, “but it is ripped and I do not know how to fix it.”

And so, they would put the dress away, back in the dark.

One day a woman found the dress hidden away.

“Oh! What a beautiful dress!” she said and then she noticed the rip. “Oh, but it is ripped! I am not a dressmaker and I am not good with a needle, but I can stitch.”

She took a needle and found some thread.

“My thread is not the right color,” she said, “and my stiches are not even, but I can mend this rip.”

She threaded her needle with the thread and began to mend the dress. There were times when she had to stop and take the thread out and start over, but she did not give up.

“There!” she said once her work was done, “It is whole!”

Once the dress was mended, she washed it and hung it up for another little girl to wear.

“Oh!” the little girl said, “What a beautiful dress!”


This was written several months ago and was inspired by two things, two people.

The first is a dear friend of mine who found me, hiding away in the dark, sad and alone and afraid of interacting with those who were not already close (and what a small number that was). She befriended me and even when we were only able to text, she would talk with me every week without fail, just to see how I was doing. She was genuine and sincere and everything I needed to know existed still today. She recently was married and I was very privileged to attend and watch her in her beautiful dress promise herself to her husband and he to her.

This story is dedicated to her.

The second person is my eldest niece. I had been struggling for a way to express my feelings concerning my friend. At the beginning of the year, I found a dress that had belonged to my niece’s mother. It was a beautiful turquoise dress that was very simple, but had been worn at least once by the majority of my sisters once it no longer fit my second eldest sister. Along the way, there was a rip that developed in one side. It wasn’t a long rip, but it was placed in such a way that the dress shouldn’t be worn. It was laced away by my mother to be mended at another time and then was lost. I found it earlier this year as stated above and realized that I could mend it. I did so (though like in the story, the thread isn’t quite right), I washed it and that same day that the rest of the story came to me, my niece had pulled the dress on for the first time to wear to church. Sitting in Sacrament Meeting, the rest of the story came to me later that day.

The Dressmaker made all of us so beautifully, using different patterns and styles and fabrics. We are each of us gorgeous and our colors do not fade, but we can become torn and ripped and dirty from wear in the world. Sometimes (too often) we are put away in the dark, sad and alone. There are those who find us, see that we are broken and for whatever reason (inability, indifference, being too torn themselves) they do not pull us out of the dark. Then there are those who come along and pull us out. They see that we are beautiful, even if we are torn or dirty and though they do not feel as if they can mend us or help us adequately, they still try and in the end, their love made all the difference.

Thank you, my friend, thank you for finding me in the dark and not focusing on how I was damaged, but instead how I was beautiful. You were not perfect, but you loved me and cared for me with a perfect love.

Moment of Serenity

Yesterday I went swimming for the first time this year. It was at my sister’s apartment complex with another sister, two nieces and two nephews (not all of the kids from the same siblings.)

At one point I decided to just float there for a moment and enjoy the sky above me. My nephews were roughhousing nearby and I, somewhat irritably (and with affected frustration) snapped that I was having ‘a moment of serenity’ and to pipe down.

I should not have said this within hearing of my second eldest sister.

With a grin, she marshaled her three children and they proceeded to have a splash battle with them on one side and me on the other. At the end of it, with me spluttering all over, she said:

“I know we’re not the crew from Firefly, but how was your moment on Serenity?”

It was perfect.

Sunday Morning Stillness

The air is still,
No worries here.
Rest and watch
The sun heat,
The sky blue
The wind still.
And yet…
There’s so much more here.
 
Tall grass rustles:
Cats stalk through,
Dogs following, curious,
Snakes moving to get away…
Ducks quack,
And birds chirp,
Don’t let the whistle fade.
 
Flowers grow,
Their scents sublime
And yet I want you to be mine.
image: from martha0stout's phone

image: from martha0stout’s phone


Not written for any specific prompt, just a little something about this morning around the house. The picture is my cat, Usako, finding my eldest niece’s paper flower and checking it out. She’s a curious little thing who also likes to ambush people

Point of View

Very often I am afraid,
I know that I am always alone.
Can’t anyone see that I need help?
This isn’t going to come out at home…
I wonder just what I have done?
Must have been something to deserve this.
Whatever happened to the Golden Rule?
Because I have nothing else going for me,
Unless I take it myself.
Lower myself to this pitiful display,
Let me use this to feel better about myself.
You won’t tell anyone, they won’t believe.
It must have expired long ago…
But no one else is doing anything…
You can’t expect me to try if they won’t!
Stop looking at me as if this is my fault!
Totally overblowing my role.
At least I’m not the one to through the punch,
Never did I say the words,
Don’t look at me when they limp away!
Ever think that they should stop it themselves?
Remember that I stood by and did nothing I will forever…

When I first saw the prompt, I was reminded of two things:

1) When I was a little girl, everyone got a turn on the swing we were all pushing like a bench swing, but every time my turn came around, I was pushed to the ground and ignored. There were only a few that did any actual pushing, but no one else would even look me in the eyes when they quickly pushed the line forward once more.

2) Even though she’d been bullied mercilessly and far worse than I ever had, my niece jumped into a ditch that was flooding to grab out a little girl she’d only met that day even though she wasn’t the strongest swimmer. She never made all that many friends in the neighborhood while we lived there because most would bully her or stand by and do nothing, but she’d stand up for them or dive into the river for their siblings anyway.

At one point or another in our lives, we will each stand in one of the places in this scenario. The question we have to ask ourselves is: Will we continue those actions?

Will you allow yourself to be pushed down over and over before you walk away?

Will you continue to bully once you realize with horror that, that is exactly what you are doing?

Will you continue to watch on as another is degraded for whatever reason or excuse you were using to justify your previous behavior?

Will the answer you give now stay the same, or will it change?

Prompt: http://tracesofthesoul.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/reflections-shared-tracesofthesoul-prompt-2-silent-witnesses-bystanders/

What’s in a Window Well?

What will you find in here?
Inside there is a treasure trove of things.
Now don’t forget that there are dangers as well.
Do be cautious when climing on through
Or you might be surprised by a spider with red on her back.
Without gravel to kill it quick, you’ll be singing in a high pitch.
Try to be curious while being sensible.
Well, don’t forget the moments of childhood with these;
Ever had to learn the difference between poppy leaves and mint?
Let me give you a clue if you’re unlucky enough, ignore the fuzz.
Left of the window well of my childhood, lay the garden of herbs.

Written as a response to this week’s FreeWriteFriday: http://kellieelmore.com/2014/05/02/fwf-free-write-friday-word-bank-10/

Also, listening to my niece and nephews do their housework and yard work. They’ve been cleaning out the window wells these past few days and it reminded me of the window wells around my childhood home.