Why ever have you done this
And trampled over me
Kept your joy contained
Even as it reigned free
Unless this was the plan
Perhaps more clever you are than I am
So I’ve got a cold and feel like crap. I wasn’t going to get up for a while yet because I was warm for once. One of our dogs, Helena, didn’t like that I wasn’t up right now this second. So she catapulted herself not just onto my bed, but directly onto me and started jumping around. She’s a medium-sized dog, our smallest, but she’s still a decent size and heavy enough to knock the air right out of you.
It wasn’t the wake-up call I had in mind and it was at least two hours earlier than I had planned. Unfortunately, I know from experience that trying to go back to bed while Helena wants you up isn’t just futile, it’s also incredibly foolish. She has no problems using her little claws to aid you in arising. Her claws aren’t sharp enough to cut, but they still hurt. (Clipping her nails is hard because they’re black and I don’t want to clip too far.)
Of course, heaven help you if you need to get up and she’s asleep on you.