Put the Glass Down

Who am I if I can’t carry it all?

If I falter…

Who am I if I don’t have what it takes?

No cracks, no breaks

No mistakes, no pressure

-‘Surface Pressure’; from “Encanto”
But it's so hard to go on
Utilizing every source of energy
Reaching further and further inside
Not realizing what you're courting
Only knowing you just can't stop
Until there's nothing left to give
Then you fall and can't get up

I’m not the eldest of my siblings. I’m the third youngest, in fact, which would sound like still pretty up there, but I’m the sixth child my parents had, so it really means that I’m just barely not the end, but not really one of the middle two. I’ve watched different siblings at different times try to carry not only their own loads but those around them. I’ve done it, too. We seem to take turns in my family with doing that. It helps with the burnout that each of us have lived through of one thing or another.

I’ve been told that working like that with one another is…odd.

I don’t know why, though. Isn’t that what family is supposed to be about? Yeah, you have fights and arguments, and maybe you don’t talk a whole lot with each other sometimes, but when you’re family needs help? When you see your siblings fall, don’t you step up and help them? Even if you’re still angry and hurt, you still love them. You can love someone, but not really like them all of the time. That’s just being human. We don’t even always like ourselves, so why would that be any different with others?

I don’t really recall if I’ve written about this before, but it’s been rolling through my head since watching that part of the movie. That sister was approaching burnout at what she saw as the destruction of her family. After all, if she’s the strongest of them and she’s weak when all of the magic might be fading? And her entire concept of her worth is based on what she can do? That’s a recipe for disaster, Disney movie or no.

It’s healthy for someone to take time away in order to rest. Even if they don’t go back to what they were doing before they burned out, it’s important. A person’s worth is more than what they can do.

Dungeons – Thankful Thursday

So around the New Year, my eldest nephew asked if we could hold weekly Dungeons and Dragons games as a family. He very rarely ever asks to do anything as a family even once every few months, let alone something that would be a weekly occurrence. My sister immediately agreed and so since then, each week my sister, her three teenagers and myself meet to play Dungeons and Dragons at our kitchen table. We have three players (my sister and her two sons) and two Dungeon Masters (my niece and myself).

Why have two DMs, you may ask?

Well, my niece isn’t fond of D&D when as a player, but didn’t want to be the normal DM. I love creating stories and adventures, but sometimes can’t talk for hours at a time or other difficulties pop up. So my niece is my assistant and we pretty much split the world we’re using. If it takes place in one of my countries, I’m main DM (barring physical difficulties). If it’s in one of my niece’s countries, she’s the main DM.

Regardless, we all still have to be at the table each week and take part in the game.

As a result, everyone’s gotten better at communicating throughout the week because we have to get along to a certain degree or the D&D session comes to a quick end no matter what.

So I’m thankful for my nephew’s idea of playing Dungeons and Dragons as a family, because we’re all learning how to communicate better and are closer as a family.

She’s Back! – Thankful Thursday

So I saw my sister (the one just older than me) yesterday for the first time all summer! I’ve never gone so long without seeing one of my siblings. (Except for the time my eldest sister lived in Hawaii while she got her degree and then lived with her husband in Cambodia and my second eldest sister was in the Army or that time my older brother was on his mission over in Louisiana…)

Anyway, I’ve never been so long without seeing one of the siblings that’s on the end of the groupd of kids born like me. I really missed her and was really excited to see her.

So today, I’m just grateful she’s home from New York. As a special, I’m spotlighting her blog over on Weebly, it’s Musings of a woman. Go check it out as she’s included posts and pictures from her time away this summer.

Have a lovely day, all and make sure to check out the original Thankful Thursday over at Momdeaver. (I’ll switch it to this week’s post as soon as it goes up and I’m on the computer at the same time. This day is going to be super busy, but all of my Thursdays are ending up like that this month…)

Artist’s Birthday – Thankful Thursday

Today is my sister’s (the one just older than me) thirtieth birthday. She’s very talented with her hands and can make just about anything. She makes delicious eclairs and her drawings are beautiful. She painted Mom a picture with blue bonnets once because Mom was missing the flowers that bloomed at her childhood home in Texas. She can also embroider very finely. She’s like Mom in that regard. They both can make beautiful things with their hands.

My eldest niece wants to be able to draw as well as my sister does and whenever anyone compliments her drawings, her response is always, “Oh, I’m no good at this; you should see what my aunt draws.”

They both are very good at art and crafts and things like that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m grateful for my sister and for the years that she’s been here. I’m not an artist. I write and I can plan things and I can clean, but I’m not an artist. My niece’s mom (my other sister) also isn’t an artist, so I’m glad that Catie has someone she can look up to and ask questions about drawing and such.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday. (Will update link at some point.)

Awesome Sauce – Thankful Thursday

In about two days, it’ll be my third eldest sister’s birthday. She is the one who taught us how to break into the house whenever we lost our house keys (and because we didn’t have any of those automated systems when I was a kid) and also how to untie really complicated knots. She was an awesome older sister and now she’s an awesome (and exhausted, because five kids with four under the age of seven) mom.

So this week? I’m grateful for the awesomeness that is her.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday. (Will update link when able.)

Belated Wishes – Thankful Thursday

Today I am grateful for something that has already happened. This month my elder sister, the one I live with, and her eldest son (the one whose finally taller than me) were born. I am grateful for the two of them even if they are giant trolls.

Happy Belated Birthday you two!

Check out the original Thankful Thursday. (Link will be updated…eventually.)