This week I am grateful for my younger sister. She spent several years right after high school helping to take care of me and our mom when our health was really low. She was always there for us and so I’m spending a lot of time this week with her.
Star did not envy her sister even as she watched from afar. This was the life that Star had chosen just as this was the life that her sister had chosen. What worked for one half of their once whole did not work for the remaining part.
They were very different and not just in their choices.
Star didn’t need to be close enough to see the careworn look on her sister’s face nor the wrinkles acquired through laughter and sorrow. Her own face was line-free and as smooth as if she was going through puberty for the first time, though without the curse of blemishes that many teenagers lamented over. Her hair was bright, thick and full while her sister’s was thinning slightly and going grey at the temples.
The biggest difference about her sister was the joy in her face and the light in her eyes. Star smiled her own, though it was wistful.
She had no way of knowing that her sister would change so drastically when she left at the end of the day. Star didn’t know that in the weeks to come her sister would have to file for divorce and separate from her husband. She wouldn’t know that this was a facade to protect her sister and her nephews. Star didn’t know that her sister’s husband (the divorce was never supposed to be finalized in their scheme to protect their sons) would die in the following months because of corporate corruption and crime.
It was just as well that Star didn’t know any of this or she would have never left and a greater harm would have found her sister’s family.
image: ‘Sisters’ , from sister just older than me’s old art pad
Remember that we are not invincible
Especially when life is hard.
So keep in mind my limitations
Or down upon the ground I’ll go.
Let old hurts heal
Until all that’s left is a scar.
Think about why I feel something
Even if that reason hurts.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
(This image is one that my sister drew based off a picture of two of our other sisters.)
Star flew overhead, looking down at the people below her. They could not see her, mostly because none of them were looking up, but partly because she’d cloaked herself in the invisibility that was the UV rays part of the spectrum.
Life for her hadn’t gotten any easier since the War was over. She served Solaris and worked with the differing levels of the Guardians and the liaisons they had with other militant groups and governments, but the more time she spent around others the more she felt like an outsider.
Yesterday I went swimming for the first time this year. It was at my sister’s apartment complex with another sister, two nieces and two nephews (not all of the kids from the same siblings.)
At one point I decided to just float there for a moment and enjoy the sky above me. My nephews were roughhousing nearby and I, somewhat irritably (and with affected frustration) snapped that I was having ‘a moment of serenity’ and to pipe down.
I should not have said this within hearing of my second eldest sister.
With a grin, she marshaled her three children and they proceeded to have a splash battle with them on one side and me on the other. At the end of it, with me spluttering all over, she said:
“I know we’re not the crew from Firefly, but how was your moment on Serenity?”
Go on now, don’t be late!
Right now we’ve got a small debate
On what we should in the end buy.
Could we do with a little more rye?
Even though we’re almost done
Right now we’ll get chicken to put in the oven.
Yes, my dear we’re on our way to heaven.
So we’ve got to go in a little while
Have lots to do going through the aisle,
Or maybe we’ll grab a bite to eat.
Please don’t forget to pick up flour!
Pick up the apples before the hour.
I know there’s still a lot left to do,
Now don’t forget to get some honey dew.
Great! It’s over! I can rest now too.
Universal disease can only be cured in one way.
Never let it be unsaid that the cure wasn’t painful.
Even though she was alone, she wasn’t
Quite alone. There was another here who stayed
Until she gained some kind of mental footing.
Although she understood why she had been sent away,
Longing filled her split soul.
Sun’s coming up, coming up down on main street…Head in my hands, here I am standing in my bare feet.
Watching you drive away, watching you drive away. – Dixie Chicks
Bared in a way that she had never been before,
In her heart she was alone.
There was no soothing force that spread and healed
The cracks in her mind.
Eventually, she would accept that this was now her life.
Reality had always been harsh and yet…
Something within told her that this
Was only the beginning…
Even should she ever find her other half,
Even should she stand next to her family…
There was no doubt in her mind that her sister was just as torn.