Behind Me Stands

Great people come and go

Only so far as history seems to show

Or is it that the good are only footnotes

Dust forgotten in the great boat’s wake?


Where a man stands there’s always another

Or maybe even just in the shadows, a mother

Many would not be where they are today

Are you where you thought you’d always stay

Not without the influence and care of a mother’s gentle stare


Humble Pie

Don’t want to look too far

Inside of myself

Seeing what I wish to hide

Control is merely an illusion

Reaching out from my pride

Even as my heart knows the truth

Perhaps I need another dose

As humility is missing

Now that my knees hit the ground

Can’t keep these feelings inside

Yet not caring as tears fall down

Important Enough – Thankful Thursday

For all that we, as a nation, have, we would have none of it without the Freedom to believe that which we wish to believe. To practice our religion and our faith without persecution and live in peace. America was founded on this, it was settled with this belief, that all should be allowed to practice their faith so long as it did not impinge upon the rights or freedoms of others.

That did not mean that we could banish those who seek the same from our land simply because it is easier and less taxing then performing checks. That is not what our country was founded for. That was not what we have fought for so many times in the past.

If you want to be thankful for the freedoms that you have, then you must also do as those in the past who wanted those same freedoms. You must be willing to let others be free as well.

I am thankful for the freedoms that I have grown up with and the thought that banning them in the name of security is more than just distasteful. It is an attack on what our country was founded on. There should never be a time when it is seen as ‘acceptable’ to disregard the Bill of Rights. You cannot be true to the Constitution and disregard it in the same breath. It doesn’t work like that.

You may call me naïve or foolish, but I believe that these rights were important enough to our country when good people died in order for them to exist in the first place, so we should honor that sacrifice and work to uphold them in their place.

To do anything less would be to spit upon those who have died for this as well as those who have lived and fought for them during their lives.

Maybe one person speaking can be ignored, but if enough stand together then it is harder to ignore until there are enough standing that something must be done.

This is me, probably not the first person to write or say something like this. Hopefully I’m not the first (I don’t know, I don’t have continual access to the internet to really look, everything on my blog is pre-written and then scheduled at least a month in advance), hopefully I’m just another person standing where others already are saying that I am grateful enough for the kind of country I was blessed to grow up in and wanting others to be able to grow up in a place like it too.

I am grateful, and that means that I need to do something with that gratitude else it will fail to grow and become more. Maybe someone else will stand as well, maybe a lot of someones will stand and together we might actually get something done.

This little rant was inspired by the song “There She Stands” by Michael W. Smith.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday. (Will update link when able.)

I Wish That I Could See You Once Again

I waited all day for the truck to arrive. To be truthful, I’d been waiting for that truck to get here since it had first left the duplex on Friday morning. It was Thursday, almost a full week since I’d seen something that had been a permanent fixture in my family and my life since before any of my siblings were even born.

Since before my parents had even been married for six months to be honest. It was their first baby, something they bought before they even had a bed to sleep on at night.

“I told your father that I would sleep on the floor as long as necessary in order to get that piano,” she said as I glanced once more out the window in anticipation.

“They’re here!”

With silence, we watch as, piece by bulky piece, the piano is brought in and then assembled. Very politely, the movers turn it just a little, this way and that for my mother once it’s fully together.

“That’s it! That’s perfect.” She says with a smile.

I thank them as well and make sure to pay them before watching as they drive off once more, this time without a member of my family with them.

I turn back to the piano and don’t comment as I see Mom hugging it. I’d already done that while they were putting their equipment away anyway.

image: Iris and the piano, from martha0stout's phone

image: Iris and the piano, from martha0stout’s phone

Even Iris missed her favorite perch.

Don’t worry about the broken music stand. That happened decades ago when my parents were still married and before their many children. That’s right, that wasn’t us…for once.

(This was supposed to be post right after the piano arrived, but I forgot. It’s the second part to So Long Old Friend. The two titles are from a song from the Garfield cartoon movies.)

(I will include the link to the first post when I am able.)

Forever and a Day

Together, forever, no matter how long
From now until the end of time
We’ll be together and you can be sure
That forever and a day
That’s how long we’ll stay
Together and forever more.
–John Loeffler

It’s been a year and a day since my little sister, the baby girl in our family, put on her white dress, pulled her hair up in curls, curled her hand around our father’s arm and walked down the aisle.

A year and a day since she put aside our father’s name for a new one.

Since her life changed more than any of us ever imagined as children.

She’s still happier than I’ve ever seen her in our entire lives.

He’s still glowing whenever he talks about her.

Since he watched her walk closer to him.

A year and a day since he shared his home and name.

It’s been a year and a day since my new brother, whose just two months older than me, put on his vest and tie, combed his hair just right, stood still with his best friend at his side and watched his future enter the room.

No matter where our destiny leads
I’ll be there for you, always come through
And that you can believe.
–John Loeffler

Once Even I Was A Little Child, And I Was Afraid

Matt hummed softly as he walked down the long hallway, carrying his precious bundle so carefully. Halfway down the hall a door stood open and inside was a bedroom done up in soft warm colors, reds and browns and golds with an occasional touch of blue to offset it. He moved towards the bed which was already turn down, the quilt showing a starburst pattern on it.

Once his little bundle was placed in the bed and tucked in he sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through the child’s hair and his humming continued and moved into words.

Little child, be not afraid
The rain pounds harsh against the glass
Like an unwanted stranger
There is no danger
I am here tonight

The little girl in front of him smiled and rolled over so that she could peek up at him through her eye lashes, humming along with his little lullaby.

Little child, be not afraid
The thunder explodes
And lightning flash
Illuminates your tear-stained face
I am here tonight
And someday you’ll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls in rivers and land
On forest and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
Little child, be not afraid
The storm clouds mask your beloved moon
And it’s candle like beams
So keep pleasant dreams
I am here tonight
Little child, be not afraid
The wind makes creatures of our trees
And the branches to hands
They’re not real understand
And I am here tonight

She frowned slightly, sleepily at the words about the moon. Matt smiled, but kept singing softly. He knew that she’d always preferred the sun or the stars to the moon, but this was the way the song went.

And someday you’ll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls in rivers and land
On forests and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
For you know once even I was a little child
And I was afraid
But a gentle someone always came
To dry all my tears
To switch sleep for fears
And to give a kiss goodnight

Matt’s voice shook slightly over the previous verse, remembering when his mother would sing him to sleep. The little girl’s eyes had slipped closed by now, but she was still just slightly awake, so Matt carried on.

Well, now I am grown
And these years have shown
The rains a part of how life goes
But it’s dark and it’s late
So I’ll hold you and wait
Until your frightened eyes do close
And I hope that you’ll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls in rivers and land
On forest and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
Everything’s fine in the morning
The rain’ll be gone in the morning
But I’ll still be here in the morning

After the lyrics had all been sung, Matt continued humming slightly though the little girl was deeply asleep. His hand had long since stopped carding through her dark red hair an sat limply in his lap. His eyes hadn’t stopped watering throughout the ending of the song and tears were still trickling quietly down his cheeks.

Little Mary snuffled softly in her bed, unaware of her silently crying son next to her.

This little snippet is far into the future for this little universe, but it’s been on my mind for a while and I had to write it down.

My mom often sang us to sleep at night, so much so that the first thing I have ever tried to get my nieces and nephews to sleep is some of her songs being sung softly.

Musical Crowd

Music has a certain…something…that reaches into the human heart and brings out our souls.

Music has been a large part of my life since day one. My mother takes time to write little lullabies for each of her children shortly after their births. My father would play music on his record player for us while Mom would sing or hum us to sleep.

This is on my mind for one reason. My niece has taken to listening to her iPod (it’s really her mom’s) on a little speaker plug-in that she got for Christmas last year. One of the songs happened to catch my attention for a bit and I couldn’t help but listen to it even though I had work I was supposed to be doing on the other end of the house.

Sometimes songs that I’ve known since I was a pre-teen sneak up on me with a pow! right to my heart.

You are the one who keeps your dream alive
And you are the one who feels the rhythm deep inside
Do you ever wonder if can make you fly?
But you will never know, if you don’t really try.
There’s so many fast frames
Quick cuts and a million stars
Can make you wonder
Can make you dream ahead from the start
When you know your heart and follow your own destiny
Don’t get lost in the crowd
Be the one to be strong and turn heads around
Even from dark to light
You are the spark
You have the fire
You are the heart
New be a believer
Don’t get lost in the crowd
Look around you,  you may not be
The latest fashion or in a magazine
Or under high profiles but you will be
A sweet inspiration if you got your own style
There’s so many fast frames
Quick cuts and a million stars
Pulling you away from what you really love
If you sing your own song straight from your heart
You’ll find yourself rising above
Don’t get lost in the crowd
Be the one to be strong and turn heads around
Even from dark to light
You have the spark
You have the fire
You are the heart
now be a believer
Don’t get lost in the crowd
‘Cause we live in a world of so many choices
It’s hard to find our own voices
And keep going on from day to day
So get with the earth and get with the sky
Get with the inside
Don’t get lost in the crowd
Be the one to be strong and turn heads around
Even from dark to light
You have the spark and the fire
You are the heart
Now be a believer
Don’t get lost in the crowd
–From Don’t Get Lost in the Crowd by Ashley Ballard

Home Sweet Home – Poetry Prompt #18

Home, home on a range
Where the Samanthas and the Levis
Run down to McDonald’s in their underwear.
Where seldom is heard
Martha not saying a word,
And the grownups have all gone insane!

This was written back when I was a little girl, by me! (I was an annoying little thing back then…) I remembered this little ditty I used to sing (at the top of my lungs) when I saw the Poetry Prompt from WeDrink this morning.

Hope it was humorous in some way.

Song of the Heart – Thankful Thursday

Today has been a slow morning, everyone who could sleep in did. It was worth it, as the day has slowly gone by (it’s almost lunch already?) and I have sat and just listened to some music. Of course, I only put the music on because my niece asked me to, but I liked listening to it while she whirled around the room, picking up and vacuuming.

I guess today I’m thankful for music.

The sound of children laughing.

The sound of children playing.

The sound of lullabies created by my mom.

The sound of the wind in the leaves.

The knowledge that music in itself is a prayer.

For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads. -Doctrine and Covenants 25:12

And when you can sing a prayer, then you just know that your day is going to be better for it.

For the original Thankful Thursday: