Harsh Reality

There is no growth in your comfort zone, and no comfort in your growth zone.

Perhaps I did not speak clearly
And lost my meaning in the words
Isn’t it strange how we face life dearly
Not knowing just how much it hurts

I live on a farm. Most of you who are reading this post know that, because it’s something that I’ve talked about often. I knew that it would be hard and that it wouldn’t be something easily done.

You’d think I would have been able to prepare myself a little better and I thought I had. Especially after two and a half years and counting, but I wasn’t ready.

Not by a long shot.

I’m still not ready and I doubt I will ever reach the point where every single loss, no matter which type of animal, doesn’t cut into the strangely still soft heart I possess.

But if I didn’t keep trying, then I don’t think I would be able to keep going at all. Giving up, giving in, has never really been a part of my personality.

Well…

I’m not going to add it to my list of character traits now.

Because all of those that I have lost deserve better from me than just being memories that I run from.

(In other news, I have learned how to perform CPR on small mammals. It should be noted that if they aren’t revived within 10 minutes, it’s too late.

But that doesn’t mean it will always be too late.)

This small poem and accompanying ramble was brought to you by Dungeon Prompt: Defined by a Quote.

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Incoming – He Made This

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image: from martha0stout’s phone

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Eternal Round

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned
It’s that life is not clean cut
Things like to happen without plan
And we’re left standing asking, “What?”

We grow and learn and cry
Tears of joy and pain
Laugh, sing and ask and die
Trying to find our place in life

Walking without fear
When we think we know the way
Questions asked without a pause
Answers clear in the light of day

And then someone comes along
Taking what we thought we knew
Turning it inside out
And left knowing a world so new

Still we keep moving on
Not giving in one jot
There’s still so much to learn
We cannot ever give up

Children become so much more
Than just those mirrors reflected back
As they change and grow
Knowing it’s up to them to stay the track

They leave us far behind
With little power left
Not knowing that they have
Left us feeling bereft

We’ve taught them all we know
But not all that they find
Believing, hoping that
They will themselves o’er bind

And yet they still come home
Smiling with eyes bright
Or crying and alone
Still to our arms they go

“I have seen so much out there,
So much that frightened me,
But always I have known
You would still remain waiting like a tree…

“A sentinel from my past
I have known you won’t forget
That you raised me from first to last
As someone more than what you’ve beget.”

And then we can reply,
“I prayed and watched and hoped
That still you’d come and try
To tell me all you’ve seen…

“My child, my heart still beats
A sure rhythm just for you
So listen as it states
That I will always love you, too.

“No matter where you go
Nor how strange you may become to me
My child of choice or birth
My heart is yours for free.

“Learn and grow and live
But don’t forget the past.
Still learn to forgive and regret
And keep your anger last.

“There’s more to life than this
So much more than I can say
Just remember this from me,
Hope and faith still bring the day.”

A part of them in us are
A part of us in them
For the roots cannot yet grow
Without the branches trim.


Wow. That kind of grew to be a lot longer than I thought it would. Every time I thought, well, that’s done, the words would keep coming. Sometimes all we can do is stand back and watch something grow until its time is done.

This was inspired by the Dungeon Prompt: Moral Authority. Make sure to check the other entries there, because these prompts seem to bring out the best in bloggers’ writing I’ve found.

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Dreams Are Not

The world she lived in was like a dream.

Terrifying in it’s simplicity and horrifying with how people just accepted certain things as unchangeable facts about life.

Rule #1 – If you stepped out of line, the authorities weren’t responsible for what happened to you.

Rule #2 – You accepted what you were allotted in all things.

Rule #3 – If you broke either of the previous Rules, then you faced Consequences.

There was only ever one Consequence for all that the Third Rule made it seem like there were many.

Of course, no one ever knew what the Consequence was except for those who received it, but the results all seemed to be the same.

No one ever saw you again.

She shivered as she stayed in line for the food, not even reacting to the harsh temperatures coming from the sky.


I’ll be honest, when I first realized that Dungeon Prompts were back, I geeked out majorly (and then had to explain why to my nephew who is the only other person home right now.) Then I read this week’s Dungeon Prompt: Utopia and this was the first thing that came to mind.

I had wanted to write about the type of world that I consider to be a utopia, like the prompt says, but this is all that would come out.

Then my mind went kind of even worse when it reminded me of a terrible dream that I had once and I decided that there was something worse my head that came to mind when I saw this prompt and decided to just leave it as is.

I am going to go do something that lets me think about something else now.

Like family history. That always makes me feel better.

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Big Brother – Thankful Thursday

So, I mentioned that we got a new kitten (Locutis) and that he weighed less than our, at the time, 3-week old kittens. (He weighs more now, which is good and can eat more.)

What I haven’t mentioned is that a few days after we got Locutis, the tiny kittens’ mother went missing. Freya (mama cat) went out hunting, as she did at least three times a day now that the kittens didn’t need to eat every hour on the hour.

She did not come back and we haven’t seen her for two weeks and counting now. She was a very attentive mother and has never run away before. We do live out in cattle country and there have been problems with raccoons, skunks, foxes, and coyotes in our valley.

It has also happened in the past that some cats get picked up by this lovely lady who takes them to get fixed and then tries to find them homes. Freya liked people and other animals and is a good size for people who want a cat, but not a big cat. We’re hoping that this is what happened to her, but the point is, she is gone and not likely to come home. (Doesn’t mean we aren’t keeping an eye out for her…)

Locutis has decided that the kittens that are much younger than him are his. He taught them how to drink our goat milk. He’s teaching them how to use the litter box. He taught them how to eat the kitten food we got for them all. He plays with them. He even pins them and cleans them. I got to watch him do all of this today while I was getting ready for my day.

I am grateful for this little orange tabby that decided he liked our little kittens and that they were his. I’m not entirely sure what my days would be like without him.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday.

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Real Rarity – Silly Snippet

While everyone was busy watching the ‘rare’ solar eclipse, the Scarlet Caper made off with something far more rare and valuable for its inability to be reoccurring or recoverable:

Our much vaunted Imagination!

 

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For Everything There is a Season – Thankful Thursday

There are too many things to list about what I am grateful for from this past summer. We’ve done a lot of work on the farm and had a lot of fun hanging out as well. We’ve had new arrivals to the farm and had to say goodbye to others.

I guess the only thing I can think of to be thankful for while keeping this short (because I have to go season some cheese) is to say that I’m grateful for all that a person can learn in a season.

Check out the original Thankful Thursday.

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