Robin’s Egg Blue – Moment of Beauty

My niece brought in a piece of eggshell that she’d found. It was a color she doesn’t normally see and wondered about it. She said it was beautiful and that she had to share it with me. It was the piece of a robin’s egg which reminded me of the little chirps I’ve been hearing whenever I walk the dogs around the property.

Sometimes we forget in the hustle and bustle of life to stop and look at the beautiful things around us. They can be the sunset with its glorious colors strewn across the sky or the smell of freshly cut grass. Sometimes it’s a tiny piece of robin’s blue eggshell against the dark rich soil of the earth.

Take a Breath

So things keep coming fast
Until buried I am
Reacting without thinking
Vision impaired
Insisting I see fine
Void overtaking thought
Even as the walls close in

Only realizing when firmly lost
Reaching out for some direction

Take each moment
Hear my heart beat
Remember I’ve done this before
Instead of slipping, standing strong
Voice found with the path
Everyone gets lost

Just don’t give up, decide to…

Looking up yet in
I find myself again
Victories start small
Even as movement pushes forward off the wall

Go Forth

Can’t seem to think
Reaction time’s all wrong
And watching the day go by
Went through the motions
Life, take control of my own

Told my niece the other day to take control of her life. Told her that she needed to find something to focus on and not just exist day-to-day.

The irony of me needing to hear the same said to me is not lost on me. Some days you can walk, others you can run, and then there are the days that feel like you’re crawling an inch at a time. The important thing is to just keep going.

The Whole

May you find your peace with this. May we all. — Hercules Poirot

It’s hard trying to move on when you’ve lost something, or someone. Or even when you’ve left behind a specific point in your life. Getting up and making the choice, again and again, to just keep going can be one of the most difficult things to do. Some have said that it gets easier the more you do so, and sometimes that’s true.

Sometimes it makes it harder, though, because you’re just so tired of getting up, again and again.

And then there are the times you think you’re going to lose someone irreplaceable. You have to prepare yourself for it, because it’s going to come and you know it. You know it. You brace yourself against the pain, knowing that it likely won’t make that much of a difference when it comes because losing someone like this is never going to stop hurting.

Sometimes you get a miracle, and they live. The relief in that moment is indescribable. you’ve braced yourself, telling yourself that you’ll get through the pain, knowing that such thoughts are gentle lies at best, only to find them not needed at all.

Sometimes…

Sometimes the miracle isn’t a relief for you, but rather a relief for them. A relief from their pain and suffering.

You learn that the bracing doesn’t help as much as you told yourself it would. You learn that even though you’re able to keep getting up, again and again, the hurt comes back in waves in little unexpected moments.

But…

But you remember wonderful things in those same moments as well.

So take the time to mourn, but don’t let your grief be all about sorrow. Let it be about the whole of the life lived, the good and the bad.