It’s Hard To Be

It’s hard to be vigilant when things feel comfortable and convenient. – Matt from mustbethistalltoride.com, Diagnosing Relationship Failure is Not for the Self-Assured

If there is one thing I have learned about living out on a farm it is that the convenience of living in the city was hard won by those who came before us. But at the same time we take most of it for granted.

It takes twenty minutes for us to get into the nearest town. Just to get to town, not the store or the gas station or a specific place, just the outskirts of town where the first houses are. And that’s if the weather’s good and there’s nothing wrong with our car. (The car wouldn’t go over 60 mph for a while there without overheating within 10 minutes. In hindsight, it was only a matter of time before it died and we had to get the truck.)

I grew up in a small city. I have to call it a small city because  to most people that’s what it is. It’s not a small town because it’s bigger than that, but if you compare it to any other size city anywhere else (including Denver, Colorado, just one state over) it really is just a small city. But that didn’t mean it didn’t have it’s conveniences just the same. I grew up being able to walk to a 50 cent and then dollar movie theater, a community swimming pool and a public library (although that last one was a bit further away and up a very steep hill that was more a part of the mountain we lived right up against.)

Now the only library that’s convenient is the one that I’ve spent my whole life compiling. The movie theater is what movies my niece buys at the thrift store to go with the old VCR that her brother found at the same thrift store (those VHS tapes are the sturdiest things outside of a nokia phone, I swear) and we try to visit one of my sisters who live in an apartment at least three times during the summer to go swimming there.

But we have our own animals that have helped supply a good portion of what we would be getting at the store: milk, eggs, cheese (we have to make it), sour cream (ditto), and meat. We try to grow our own vegetables, but something always goes wrong. (It’s funny that the garden that had goats and pigs getting into it actually fared better and gave us more crops than the one that three chickens got into. The irony.) We gather wood and straw for the winter and have to repair the shelters and sheds that we use for the farm ourselves.

I have learned things that I never thought I’d learn (how to midwife for a goat is always the first thing that pops into my mind).

But while there’s a lot less convenient things out here, it’s also the place I’ve been the healthiest and happiest since I was a small child. It’s hard work, but it’s work that I have found to be very satisfying. Most of all, I’m happy here.

(Though I will still be grateful that the store is less than an hour away.)

Sister Starts – Thankful Thursday

Today I am grateful for many things, but mostly I’m grateful that I’m still here and that I have my family with me. Today is a little different because today is sort of the day that we begin.

It’s not my parents’ anniversary, it’s not the day they met. No, today is different.

Today is the day that my eldest sister, the first of my parents’ children, was born. We, the children (or the Siblings, as we call each other now that there are children running around our feet too) began today and we lasted a good long while (my parents had children for over a decade).

But my eldest sister was the first.

 

So I am grateful for her, even when we don’t get along and we just want to throttle one another, I love her and am thankful for what she has taught me throughout my life. (She is the reason I know how to do hair in any way, though I still have a lot of practice to do.)

Look for the original Thankful Thursday here: http://mithriluna.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/thankful-thursday-a-bright-future/

Crumpled Words – Day Twenty-One

It had been a very long time since she had been happy. She wasn’t even certain if she knew what the word meant anymore. With a sigh she crumpled the paper in front of her and tossed it to the side. A few pen strokes were visible despite the ball the paper was in the shape of.

Happiness is just a word,
A sense of self that I lack
Something I wish to get back.
 
Yet I lack the strength
To cross the depths of the ford
And find my way forward.
 

Written for two different purposes today. The first is for NaPoWriMo and only includes the poem part, though I didn’t use the prompt this time (http://www.napowrimo.net/2014/04/day-21-2/). The second is for a new challenge from someone that I’ve been following recently and have enjoyed reading her various posts: http://suzie81speaks.com/2014/04/21/weekly-word-challenge-happy/

I hope that this day has found people well. I have not slept since Saturday night and I feel so very floaty…

Thank you for your care

“How can this satisfy you?” she asks.

“Because I find that I am happy here.” I answer.

There is more to life than riches and gold, there is family and love and light.


Written for this week’s Trifectra: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2014/03/trifecta-week-114.html

A short conversation like one I have had recently with one of my sisters. She worries about me and though I am glad for her love, I also know that I am happy where I am.

Fittings

My second eldest sister was going to make our youngest sister’s dress from scratch. Not unusual in our family; of four weddings in our family only one didn’t have a dress made by family. She is also the only one of us to elope while living in another state, which may have had something to do with it.

The only downside is that we aren’t able to afford the making of the wedding dress from scratch completely. On the upside, one of us found a practically new wedding dress at a nearby re-use store (DI) that was only $35 dollars. It fit almost perfectly and only needs a bit of cleaning as it doesn’t have hardly any spots and no damage to the dress from anything else. Sami also loves the dress which is the best part.

So, watching Julia fit the dress to Sami in case there needs to be any adjustments. there will only be a few, up at the shoulders.

This is heaven sent for us.

It’ll still be cheaper to make all the bridesmaids dresses by hand, though. The cloth we found was practically a steal and we already had the pattern as well as the machines.

But the bride is happy and the dressmaker isn’t exhausted.